Confront it
If people come to me with a conflict, my first question is whether they’ve addressed the person or people directly.
If they haven’t, I send them back. I’m clear about this expectation from day one, and employees’ performance reviews include ranking their ability to provide constructive feedback. Aligning incentives to this value has led to a zero-drama, zero-gossip workplace.
Know when to cut ties
I subscribe to the notion that there are three sides to every story — yours, mine and the truth that lies somewhere in between. Addressing conflicts and working to find mutual goals, together, is the best way to handle clashes and even find ways to collaborate more deeply. All that said, sometimes issues can’t be resolved. And sometimes dissolution is the best resolution for everyone.
Take it outside
We tend to resolve minor conflicts and issues quickly.
That said, when people have fundamental differences in how they’re approaching individual or team decisions, I find it’s best to just grab some time over coffee or beers outside the office. Being in a different setting tends to add levity to situations that sometimes just need that sort of perspective.
Embrace it
I have worked with my cofounder, Dan Leibu, for more than 20 years, and we love to debate. It may seem like fighting at times, but it is simply our pushing each other toward the best possible outcome. So in this context, conflict is good.
We had a doozy two years ago when we were trying to figure out our position in the world of health insurance. We both had to compromise, but once we landed in a shared place, we moved forward with clarity and purpose. Pressure makes diamonds, or so the saying goes.
Keep it constructive
Conflict is healthy if done right. We have one important distinction between healthy and unhealthy conflict: If the disagreement is within the perspective of improving something, it’s great. But if the goal is to tear down or obstruct, it’s unhealthy. We say, ‘Be critical, not cynical.’
Designate a mediator
Our onboarding process makes employees aware that they have both their direct team managers and the HR manager to discuss issues with. Oftentimes when conflicts arise, it’s most helpful for employees to talk it out with someone who’s not directly involved and has no stakes. Knowing that it’s not one employee against the other helps ease the side effects of bruised egos.